Haiku Chat 2 ~ My haiku is better when you write it!

Date: 30 June 2006
Topic: this haiku.

summer rain stops ~
butterflies emerge from
mystery shelters

[N] Rain has stopped and the sunlight is gentle
 

[N] Butterflies have come from nowhere! Where were they hiding?

...

[S] summer rain stops ~ / butterflies emerge / from mystery shelters

[N] Beautiful

[N] So you write a haiku for me!

[S] I thought of suggesting you write, but i felt one coming

[S] Thank you

[S] I'll dedicate it to you

[N] The mystery shelters is very suggestive and unique ~ i would never have caught that

[S] Thank you

[N] The verb emerge is very accurate

[N] Please post this chat also

[S] Yes, good idea

...

[N] it was my happy suggestion that kindled the haiku in you

[N] i am happier you made it a haiku ! i knew a haiku was there too. it is deeper and subtler joy making you write the lovely haiku

[S] Yes

[N] summer rain stops ~ / butterflies emerge / from mystery shelters

[N] I think "from" should go to the middle line~

[S] True

[S] summer rain stops ~ / butterflies emerge from / mystery shelters

[S] It reads better

[N] Yes surely ~

[N] I am very happy about this event

[N] You have done a great feat and it is to my joy too.

[N] I also realize another curious thing, that I am happier you wrote it and I read it. The pleasure of discovery is more

[S] That's true always

[N] We try to be as true and egoless here ~ this chat shows also the depth of true intimacy

[N] My haiku is better when you write it!

[N] We are showing the brahman way ! Of Light and Truth

[N] I am not simply praising you.

[N] I have rarely been so delighted

[S] It really is a great thing

[N] Let All Be Light ~ Endless Light .

[S] The haiku is surely inspired

[S] It is almost midnight here so when you delighted in the sunlight

[S] It was delightful for me

[S] Somewhere there is gentle sunlight after rain ~ and butterflies

[S] I could see it clearly

...

[S] At first i thought of turning your exclamation into a haiku more literally

[S] but as i got into it, it revealed

[N] But it is deeply mine too although you wrote it!

[S] Surely

[N] Actually it is very pleasant here in sunlight between heavy rains

[S] Yes

[N] So I have justified myself as a haijin one day older! Now we are of the same age!

...

Little after this chat was written, Narayanan wrote a fine elucidation of this haiku.

[N] Before concluding I also wanted to note that "emerge" is a better verb than "appear" or "come out", because it creates a deep suspense and the mystery gets cleared in the "mystery shelter".

[N] "mystery shelter" is not necessarily an earthy shelter. It could be a hidden paradise which is hidden from man. It almost hints that the appearance of butterflies is a divine mystery! In the idealist Borgesian-Funesian way it is as if new butterflies have been created anew in the cosmos ~ To Funes the same dog at the two windows are different dogs ~ Gestalts of distinct cognition.

[N]: "shelter" is a very powerful appropriate word too ~ it is Sanskrit "abhayam" which also means free from fear, so here you are also saying they are fearlessly sheltered somewhere

[N]: Again "shelter" is both noun and verb and "mystery" too is a noun used as an adjective ~ This enriches the whole Haiku and creates a yugen we may tentatively say