WonderHaikuWorlds

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Dear Rebba, "intentionally" [ with so many syllables ] may be deleted (in my opinion)! {It may be left as understood } or may be you intended it "intentionally" also to rhyme with hungry!! [ pun "unintented" ! ]
Narayanan Raghunathan Fri, Jun 27th 2008, 01:31

it was intentional hukum ! this one gets murkier for me... maybe the intended pun worked... you surfaced double quick...after days of silence ! 'maunvrat'...retreat? 'agyaatvaas'...undisclosed destination...a spiritual 'retreat'? i never gave the syllables a thought... when i wrote... golden eyes seek approval intentionally ~ her kittens will not go hungry
Rebba Singh Fri, Jun 27th 2008, 01:49

Hello Rebba, I am not sure now which version is better ! It maybe better you retain the original !
Narayanan Raghunathan Fri, Jun 27th 2008, 21:39

golden eyes seeking approval ~ intentionally ... did not work... so...i have changed it...yet again... this time...cautiously... i'm not jumping lights hukum... only crossroads...
Rebba Singh Sat, Jun 28th 2008, 05:30