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on Baile Felix spa (Romania)
on Baile Felix spa (Romania)
Posted by Maria Tirenescu Sat, Jul 19th 2008, 06:04

housed

space gasps breath:

silences of trees 


"contained" (Haiku) posted by Rebba Singh Fri, Aug 22nd 2008, 23:16
  
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Comments
Rebba
Very evocative and uniquely marks Maria's Photo.

I have a doubt whether it should be "space grasps for breath" ~ Do as you feel is suitable!

I must mention again your photo Haiku are turning outstanding!
Narayanan Raghunathan Sun, Aug 24th 2008, 00:28  
  

hukum...
...'gasps'...?
but that shows hurt...for 'housed' space...on second thought you are right...there is truth there...in gasp...

and 'grasps'...now sounds aggressive to my ears...kind of 'jabardasti' - as in 'without consent' of the trees...
but then the 'silences of trees' is the breath...

and now i'm not changing it...say what you may...
Rebba Singh Sun, Aug 24th 2008, 00:39  
  

Rebba

sorry it was "gasps"

"Grasps" was typo error !!

I don't think "for" is necessary too.

But generally "gasps" is followed by "for' !
Narayanan Raghunathan Sun, Aug 24th 2008, 00:41  
  

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