HAIKU TECHNIQUES
I want to see a psychiatrist!

Dear shrink, I need to have my head examined. Words keep ringing in my ears: ‘If your mind is correctly aligned in the ‘proper’ attitude, while experiencing a so-called ‘haiku moment’, you will  write a wonderful haiku. If your mind is correctly aligned…If…’

‘Next please!’

‘Doc, I have a haiku in my mind…’

‘You suffers terribly under the old 5-7-5 barrier crisis!’

piece of cake

and god bless you

in one sentence

‘You need a moment of satori!’

‘Kill the ku!’

‘Just learn the techniques to write good haiku.’

‘The techniques?’

‘Yes, the old-time favourites of the Japanese haiku masters: the Technique of the Riddle, the Technique of Sense-switching, the Technique of Narrowing Focus, the Technique of Metaphor, the Technique of Simile, the Technique of the Sketch or Shiki's Shasei, the Technique of Double entendre or double meanings, the Technique of using Puns, the Technique of Word-plays, the Technique of Verb /Noun Exchange, the Technique of Close Linkage, Paradox and Humour, the Technique of Leap Linkage, the Technique of Mixing It Up, the Technique of The Improbable World, the Technique of Sabi, Wabi and Yûgen, the Techniques of…’

‘Doc… I must confess: I am Woody Allen (*)!’

(*) a well respected lead-guitarist of Frank Zappa’s ‘Mothers of Invention’.