I like your cinquain because it conveys the feel of haiku and tanka poems. The sound and feel of the language when it is spoken out loud is soothing to the ear--the sibilant repeated s sounds contribute to this effect. I like the fact that you do not use capital letters--a haiku habit and style.
I also think that the cinquain would read better if the comma after enough was removed--and perhaps change the verb "made" to makes. This is a very suggestive cinquain and and the closing two lines add probing dimentions of the mind.
I like your cinquain because it conveys the feel of haiku and tanka poems. The sound and feel of the language when it is spoken out loud is soothing to the ear--the sibilant repeated s sounds contribute to this effect. I like the fact that you do not use capital letters--a haiku habit and style.
I also think that the cinquain would read better if the comma after enough was removed--and perhaps change the verb "made" to makes. This is a very suggestive cinquain and and the closing two lines add probing dimentions of the mind.
John Daleiden