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Reading glasses
Granpa
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| Posted by Vasile Moldovan Fri, Sep 22nd 2006, 19:34 :: English | |||
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Grandpa wears the reading glasses to view his new-born grandson |
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| Comments | |
| Hello Vasile. This is a very humorous and gentle, loving senryu. I have couple of suggestions: you could change "nearness glasses" to "reading glasses" as that is the usual term in English (for long-sight glasses). It makes it funnier too, as though the Grandpa is reading the infant like a book. Second suggestion: since you say Grandpa (sp), the obvious word might be "grandson" and not "nephew"... alternately, you could say "grand uncle" but this sounds little awkward and long. It doesn't have the casual charm of "grandpa". You could also consider saying "the new-born infant" since "grandpa" implicitly suggests the relationship between them. Anyway, this is not an important point. Despite these minor doubts, this is a wonderful haiku. | |
| Shyam Santhanam Sat, Sep 23rd 2006, 09:29 | |
| I like this very much - warm , affectionate and humanitarian | |
| andrew shimield Sun, Sep 24th 2006, 10:41 | |