IV] ON THE STRUCTURE GRAMMAR RHYTHMS AND METHODS IN ENGLISH HYBRID HAIKU ~[Some Personal Observations, Preferences]
Narayanan Raghunathan
TENSE IN HAIKU Haiku is about the immediate moment ~ so a Haiku is almost always cast in the present tense ~ This seems to be a very universal characteristic of Haiku written in English and even many of those translated from Japanese. a paradise on a knife etches moonlight walk ~ embracing regal lion surveys sunlight five dogs one butterfly takes off beejaat ankura: ~ the painter inside Some experts say Present Continuous Tense [gerunds ending in "ing"] should not be used. I would say preferably used only in extreme necessity ~ Some people[especially beginners] tend to use the continuous tense instead of the present tense. But sometimes the continuous tense becomes useful as in the examples below. It is ideal to check and use the gerunds discreetely. embracing regal lion surveys two goats walk on [of course here the gerund is used as an adjective ] [I personally feel that the continuous tense ("embracing" "munching"" "walking" are necessary in the concerned Haiku here] NOUNS AND VERBS ~ Nouns are the basic units of the Haiku ~ a knife etches moonlight walk ~ mossy rocks funeral ceremony ~ [Note ~ Bhajan ~ A Religious song praising or invoking God in His Infinite Manifestation showing the devotees Bhakthi [Divine Devotion]~ Generally sung in a group in temples and houses often with percussion accompaniment ~ There are innumerable Bhajans sung in India in the various languages on the Divine Nature of God ~ Root ~ Bhaj ~ to invoke, to pray, to meditate ~~~~ ana ~ to elucidate, to expand, to clarify, ~ [Sanskrit] ~] CLOSING OF HAIKU ~ It may be better to close the Haiku with a noun[ with the noun enhancing the whole meaning and power of the Haiku. I find that most of the Haiku that I have written end with a noun. But surely there are some rare exceptions. a paradise on a knife etches moonlight walk ~ But rarely it may end in a verb or continuous verb[gerund] ! embracing holding a lotus in NUMBER OF VERBS IN A HAIKU ~ I notice that I have written Haiku with no verb, one verb, two verbs and rarely even three verbs even four or five very very rarely. I observe that roughly about 70% use only one verb! 25% use 2 verbs, 4% are verbless [ these are specially challenging ] Very rarely [ less than 1% ] I have used three verbs. Most exceptionally I have written very few with four or five verbs!! a paradise on [ no verb ] a sun in a knife etches [ one verb ] mossy rocks [ one verb ] vidooraakaashe the distant sky ~ [ one verb ] winter vastness ~ [ one verb ] sunlight [ one verb ] five dogs one [ one verb ] beejaat ankura: ~ [ one verb ] moonlight walk ~ [ one verb ] butterfly takes off [ two verbs ] these crazy butterflies [ two verbs ] all children rejoice ~ [two verbs] twilight waves [ four verbs ] I am a butterfly [ five verbs ] ADJECTIVES IN HAIKU ~ In my opinion adjectives are preferably used sparingly and necessarily. Some Haikuists avoid them altogether claiming closeness to the Japanese originals! But I personally feel that essential adjectives are really necessary or else the Haiku looks like a skeleton of itself. Many of The Japanese Haiku of Classical Masters in English Translations use adjectives freely. Further Japanese language has intrinsic poetic suggestibility too that compensates even when adjectives are not directly employed. "Many Western conventions such as don'ts of sentence haiku,anthropomorphism, cause and effect or metaphor are unheard of in Japan."Susumu Takiguchi a knife etches [It may be noted that the adjective "beautiful" is essential here or so I feel] regal lion surveys [Here "caged" is a necessary adjective and one can see that even "regal" is a necessary adjective. I felt a blankness without it both rhythmically and aesthetically.] Adverbs In Haiku Adverbs are rarely needed and they are best avoided generally, in my opinion. I have used them very scarcely out of some aesthetic necessity. In most cases we will be able to get an equivalent idea with an adjective on a noun. But I think adverb may become useful and essential in some places. holding a lotus in [Please note that the adverb "gently" works on both the verbs "walks onv and "smiling" ~] ARTICLES IN HAIKU Articles [a, an, the etc.] are best used discriminately. I personally note that "a bird", "the bird" and mere "bird" have different associative etymological depths. Sometimes I use "a" or "an", sometimes "the", but often avoid either. The following examples perhaps illustrate. But I feel that completely eliminating articles as a rule and tending to be minimalist is not fair to language or to Haiku or to the reader. a knife etches [This one uses "a" twice ~] embracing [This one uses "the" twice ~] regal lion surveys [This one uses no articles at all] these crazy butterflies [In this one there are two "these and one "they" ~ all essential or so I feel ~] Now we can see the stripped version of the above ~ crazy butterflies [Perhaps some may even think this is better ~ I am not sure myself!] Further stripping it off the adjectives we have this absolutely truncated version butterflies [Some may even feel this is truly a Haiku ~ ] PROPOSITIONS IN HAIKU Propositions [on, in, of, to, from etc.] are also to be used carefully. They must feel essential and if a mere gap will do, it is better to avoid them, to offer greater associative suggestibility. a knife etches [This one uses one propsition ] embracing [This one uses no proposition ] regal lion surveys [This one uses no proposition] these crazy butterflies [This one uses one propsition ] FIRST PERSON REFERENCES First Person references [or reference to oneself] are generally avoided in Haiku by many western Haijin(s). But I have felt the need to use them sometimes as indicated below. Issa and other great Haijin(s) have used First person in their Haiku casually . "Many Western conventions such as don'ts of sentence haiku,anthropomorphism, cause and effect or metaphor are unheard of in Japan." Susumu Takiguchi in the mirror [Here I have even begun this one with a proposition, which is considered inappropriate by some.] moonlight walk ~ PROPER NOUNS IN HAIKU. Proper Nouns especially names of people are rarely or almost never used generally ~ But I have felt the need to use then sometimes especially in Senryu ~ young Lakshmi stands THE KIREJI ~ THE INTRINSIC SILENCE Something Intrinsic To Allmost All Haiku Is The Essential pause Or Elucidatory silence[ caused by the cutting word] in Japanese which generally comes at the end of the first or second line or even both. Often secondary silences in the middle of the first or second line are also implicit. Please Look for The Silence(s) in the following ones. This is called "kireji which is intrinsic to Japanese Language.In English we may have to show the major pause sometimes by a sign like "- "~"or ":" or ";" or "," [I use ~] moonlight walk ~ in the mirror embracing a knife etches mossy rocks regal lion surveys these crazy butterflies all children rejoice ~ There are various opinions regarding where the kireji should occur. After The first line, after the second line, or both after the first line and second lines, or whether it can occur in the middle of the first or second line etc. whether any sign[ like - ,~ ] should be used at all. It is also called caesura in English. SIMILE IN HAIKU Traditionally simile as a technique is not generally used in Japanese Haiku.� But the rich seasonal references and seasonal metaphysical etymological depth of the language make such sentient suggestions more intrinsic to Japanese so it has been observed by knowledgeable ones. astral clusters bloom ALLITERATIONS AND RHYMES "Alliterations and rhymes should be intrinsic accidental and not really self consciously intended so to say since these could distract from the intention of the Haiku sometimes ". But one could have difference of opinion here. In gendai type of Haiku all such ornamentative techniques are considered valid methods. They have come into my Haiku out of rhythmic and aesthetic necessity and personal prediliction. I am a butterfly JUXTAPOSITION IN HAIKU Haiku Uses Contrasting images often to indicate their intrinsic unity in the "Zen Sense" Hence technically a juxtaposition comes often into the structure of the genre. But I feel that this should be intrinsic and not contrived to add excess weight. Some western theoreticians of Haiku even insist on the necessity of forcing the juxtaposition of images in Haiku ~ I was rather amused ~ So I wrote the following one, a sly one perhaps ~ A senryu. Haiku Guru teaches But of course I use juxtapositions[ intrinsic mutual contrasts] in many Haiku! This is called Toriawase in Japanese. For more Information refer below. On Toriawase http://www.worldhaikureview.org/21/whcschools_st_toriawase.shtml
LANGUAGE OF HAIKU ~ Generally hard poetic and intellectual words come seldom handy for Haiku and they distract from the finger that points ~ Rarely I have found the need to use them though ~ twilight solemnity ~ SYLLABLE COUNT ~ NO! Not Necessarily Seventeen! Many people tend to say, "17 syllables [5/7/5]" and say "Ah! Haiku" ~ But onji[kana] and syllable are very different ~ When Haiku was adapted into English after world-war two, the seventeen syllables came in as an artifice. Most serious ones felt that it is too long and some went in for various options ~ a 11 syllables [3/5/3 partition] count or 10 syllables [3/4/3 partition]. But many felt that it is too constraining and went in for various syllable counts in different partitions into lines. Some extremists even went in for 7 syllable style in a 2/3/2 partition ~ I prefer the freedom that the rhythm dictates. I have written mostly between 11 and 17 syllables, rarely less [even as less as seven syllables ], very rarely even more than 17 syllables [ eighteen or nineteen ] out of some poetic necessity. Following examples perhaps illustrate~ embracing mossy rocks incense moonlight I close my palm
spring breeze blazes rhythm of Fire ~ the sacred drizzle ~
verdant breeze envelope twilight village ~ The following conclusion in a brilliant essay on the topic by Keiko Imaoka is relevant in this context. Please refer to this remarkable essay for a clear statement of the situation. I was little sceptical about the seventeen syllable Haiku but learning with Imaoka's essay I now consider it as a legitimate alternative to mere brevity. From http://www.ahapoetry.com/keirule.htm REPITITION OF WORDS ~ Since the Haiku is in itself tiny, a repeated word is almost considered wrong by many. But surely in rare situations the words may be repeated out of poetic necessity. twilight waves breeze far away an yellow butterfly a leaf falls ON THE SYNTACTIC STRUCTURE A haiku as a straight sentence without a conscious break[ kireji] is considered poor by many Haiku writers. ie.the Haiku should never be a simple grammatical sentence. a paradise on a knife etches regal lion surveys a frog leaps two goats walk on
The arrangement of Haiku into three lines is also not a necessity although I note that almost all Haiku in English tend to stick to the rule. Here is one rare exception in two lines from my collection. two goats walk on Here are a few in four lines ~ temple bells "a pig today hatha yoga in bamboo shoots Christmas tree still lake crystal light
More than four lines could be confusing, since a Tanka is five lined. Technically one could have single line Haiku or even a single word Haiku! I read one well known single word Haiku and honestly I was not amused but irritated. I think such experiments are somewhat misleading. CAPITALIZATION Most Haikuists use no capitals at all. Some capitalize essentially [ like for I or place names etc.]. Some capitalize the first letter of the Haiku. Some capitalize the first letter of all the three lines. Some make all the letters in a Haiku capitals too!! I think we can be free in our choice here! I use small letters but for special nouns. PUNCTUATION Punctuations are rarely used. I use occasionally my favourite punctuation "~" to indicate a pause ~ [Amanda and Shyam also use this sign [~] in their Haiku ~ So we are a threesome about this punctuation in Haiku! ~! ~! ~] ~ But commas, semicolons etc. are best avoided according to my opinion. But others could have very different opinions. Rarely a question mark [?] or an exclamation mark[!] may come in. I have also rarely used a comma for a pause and/or rhythmic stress as shown below. I close my palm spring breeze blazes
A GRAMMATICAL CONVENTION ~ I read that the plural of "Haiku" is "Haiku" and not "Haikus". But I found out later that some Japanese writing in English use "Haikus" for the plural. So now I feel that both may be considered legitimate. It is not a point for real controversy but just reframing a convention to include both the possibilities.
Note ~ All the Haiku used as examples in this essay are by Narayanan Raghunathan unless specified otherwise. |
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